


Life, in time, takes every maidenhead

by barbitone



Series: Voltron Fanfiction [17]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Lotor (Voltron), First Time, First Time Bottoming, Lotor is a 10000 year old virgin, M/M, Minor Angst, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Rimming, Top Shiro (Voltron), because he has low self esteem, there are no bad boys here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-05 00:06:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17314352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbitone/pseuds/barbitone
Summary: “Why would you want tomatewith me?” Lotor demanded. The idea was absolutely preposterous, he had no illusions about his own desirability. He’d known since he was a child he wouldn’t ever be wanted by anyone. But perhaps Shiro had a taste for mongrel runts, he was quite small and hairless himself, as were the rest of them. Even so Lotor had difficulty believing it.





	Life, in time, takes every maidenhead

**Author's Note:**

> "Up until then it had only been himself. Up to then it had been a private wrestle between him and himself. Nobody else much entered into it. After the people came into it he was, of course, a different man. Everything had changed then and he was no longer the virgin, with the virgin's right to insist upon platonic love. Life, in time, takes every maidenhead, even if it has to dry it up; it does not matter how the owner wants to keep it."  
> \- James Jones, From Here to Eternity

 

* * *

 

“Trouble sleeping?”

Lotor fought not to flinch as he turned, shocked at himself- shocked that he hadn’t heard the human approach.

“Me too,” Shiro said with a wry smile as he stepped closer until they were standing side by side, looking out the observation deck window together. “Coming up here helps sometimes. It reminds me that even after everything, there’s beauty in the universe. This has always been my dream, you know. To go up to the stars- to explore the cosmos.”

Lotor smiled a little, relaxing despite himself. “I can understand the sentiment.” He’d felt it ever since Shiro had given him the Black Bayard- the sense that in some ways they were kindred spirits. “I’ve been to some of the most beautiful and remote places in the universe and yet nothing can compare to a view like this. Sometimes it still takes my breath away.”

Shiro put his hand on Lotor’s shoulder and Lotor froze- was this an attack of some kind? But that didn’t make any sense and all Shiro did was squeeze a little before letting go again, smiling at him widely. No one had touched him so casually in- Lotor frowned, looking back out the window to hide his discomfort. Maybe no one had _ever_ touched him so casually. Humans were truly a strange people.

“I want to see everything,” Shiro said quietly. “When this is all over, that’s what I’m going to do. Go out there and just-” he laughed. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Lotor asked, confused.

“What will you do, once this is all over?”

“No one’s ever asked me that before.”

“Well- now I’m asking,” Shiro said with a grin. “Come on, Lotor. You must have plans, right? You have plans for everything.”

The way Shiro was looking at him made him feel so odd, like he was warm all over. “Perhaps,” he said, looking down so he wouldn’t have to see Shiro’s face. “There is a place I’ve been to, a planet I crash landed on once- full of flowers like juniberries. There’s a waterfall there, and at night it glows pink with bioluminescent algae. I’d like to go back there, at least once more.”

“That sounds amazing,” Shiro said and Lotor froze as he stepped closer. He stared at Shiro’s face as the man carefully raised his hand to put it on his cheek. What was he doing? Was this some sort of strange human custom?

“Maybe you’ll show me someday,” Shiro said. His gaze dropped to Lotor’s lips and he leaned in- what was he _doing_? Lotor forced himself to stay still even as his heart started to pound faster and faster, but then he could take it no more and jerked back.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I-” Shiro flushed. “I- kissing you? It seemed like maybe you wanted- but. I’m sorry, maybe I misunderstood.”

“Why would you _kiss_ me?” Lotor asked, even more bewildered now than before.

“Do- do Galra not kiss?”

“Of course they do,” Lotor said. Was this some kind of joke? But it was unlike Shiro to be so cruel. “Generally as a precursor to mating.”

“So, uh,” Shiro rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “So it’s the same as humans, then.”

“Why would you want to _mate_ with me?” Lotor demanded. The idea was absolutely preposterous, he had no illusions about his own desirability. He’d known since he was a child he wouldn’t ever be wanted by anyone. But perhaps Shiro had a taste for mongrel runts, he was quite small and hairless himself, as were the rest of them. Even so Lotor had difficulty believing it. And to make matters even more confusing- “We’re both males. Unless you’re-”

Shiro laughed. “No. No, I’m definitely-”

“Did you think _I_ was-?” Lotor knew his features were effeminate but no one had been confused as to his sex before. Surely Shiro wasn’t that unobservant.

“No,” Shiro said.

“So- what would be the point, exactly?”

“Uh. Fun? It… feels good?”

Lotor frowned. That… didn’t seem right. He’d heard of such things, but he couldn’t imagine it would be pleasant being on the receiving end of something like that, couldn’t imagine enjoying it from the other side either, not while knowing about his partner’s inevitable discomfort.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro said. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I should have asked first, maybe. I dunno- it seemed- it seemed like maybe. It seemed like the moment was right. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“That’s… alright,” Lotor said slowly. A misunderstanding, of course. He tried willing his blush away but it was no use. Why was he suddenly so disappointed?

“Listen, just in case I haven’t totally fucked this up yet, maybe we could try it again. Is it alright if I kiss you?”

Lotor licked his lips nervously. “You’re- you want to-“

“Kiss you? Yeah,” Shiro said even as he reached up to brush Lotor’s hair back from his face. “If that’s alright? Just a kiss. Maybe we leave the mating for another time.” He laughed again, the sound warm and rich as it filled the room.

“Alright,” Lotor found himself saying. Shiro smiled as he leaned in to press his lips against Lotor’s own, his left hand sliding into his hair, cradling the back of his head. Lotor’s eyes fluttered shut despite himself. This wasn’t his first kiss of course, he’d tried this a handful of times before, when he’d been young and curious. But this was so unlike any of the others.

Shiro’s lips were warm and a little slick, firm against him. He was so careful, holding Lotor without pushing for more, without hurting him. He could feel Shiro’s smile against his lips and that was strange too- it was strange how much Shiro seemed to be enjoying this. Shiro made a small sound of pleasure at the back of his throat and Lotor wanted to- he wasn’t sure what he wanted, wasn’t sure what to do with his hands. He settled on putting his hands on Shiro’s hips and flushed at the way the human moaned and stepped up to press his body to Lotor’s.

There wasn’t much he could feel through his armor other than faint pressure but the knowledge that Shiro wanted to be closer, wanted _him_ , was enough to leave him reeling.

Shiro bit at his bottom lip, still so gently, playfully, before pulling back and smiling up at him. “You’re so…” he whispered.

_Weak_ , Lotor’s traitorous mind supplied even as he fought to stay focused, to stay in this moment. _Worthless, pathetic, hideous-_ but Shiro wouldn’t say that, Lotor knew he wouldn’t.

“Amazing,” Shiro breathed out, like he meant it. “You’re really- we didn’t have the best start but I’m so glad I got to meet you, to know you, even a little. You’re amazing.”

Lotor started back at him, speechless.

“Good night,” Shiro said, leaning up to press another kiss to his lips quickly, almost chastely. “Sleep well.”

“Thank you,” Lotor said, still in a bit of a stupor as he watched Shiro walk away, unsure even now if that had really happened or if it had just been some odd vivid dream.

 

* * *

 

Lotor didn’t quite know what to do with himself. Shiro kept _looking_ at him, warm and fond, like he didn’t regret what had happened between them, what he’d done. How was he supposed to handle that? What was he supposed to _do_?

He had no idea what he wanted beyond the vague desire for _more_ , and no idea how to make any of it happen, no idea of what he’d do if it did happen. His usual nightmares were slowly replaced by hot vague dreams that left him hard and aching, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to remember what they’d been about and only managing to recall vague images of Shiro’s hands sliding down his chest, Shiro’s smile, Shiro’s eyes glittering in the darkness.

He’d just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready for bed when he heard the quiet knock on the door and he paused, staring fearfully. He knew already who it was, had a feeling he knew what this was about. But his heart was in his throat and he was shaking with fear- that he’d make a fool of himself, that Shiro would change his mind and turn him away, that he’d make some horrible mistake that would leave him cold and alone all over again.

Lotor considered ignoring the knock, pretending that he hadn’t heard it at all. It was late, maybe he was already asleep, maybe he was in the bath. Shiro wouldn’t be angry with him, would he? He’d just- walk away and _stop_ all this, and then Lotor wouldn’t have to- wouldn’t have to figure out how to deal with any of it.

The knock came again, a little louder, and Lotor flushed as he looked down. He could still ignore it- but suddenly he didn’t want to. He wanted- he wasn’t sure. He grabbed a robe off the back of a chair to drape over himself before he went to the door.

“Is everything alright?” he asked even as Shiro smiled up at him

“Of course,” he said. “I just wanted to see you. Wanted to maybe- can I come in?”

“Yes,” Lotor said, stepping back so Shiro could walk into the room.

And then he was gasping as Shiro moved forward to kiss him firmly, pushing him back against the wall. He was cold and hot at the same time, shivering and sweating, afraid and excited. This was- it was-

He moaned as Shiro licked into his mouth, only to flush immediately with shame. But Shiro moaned too, pressing closer, and- and-

Shiro pulled off to kiss his neck and Lotor shivered again at how _exposed_ he felt, how vulnerable. With a Galra this would be a threat, but Shiro had such blunt teeth, and he was so impossibly kind. Lotor couldn’t help trusting him, relaxing against him.

“Is this alright?” Shiro whispered.

Lotor wasn’t sure. He felt- good. Why did he feel so good? He was hot all over, Shiro felt so _good_ against him.

“Is this alright?” Shiro repeated, pulling back to look at him.

“Yes,” Lotor managed.

“Do you want to-?” Shiro asked and Lotor didn’t know what he meant, didn’t know what to say.

“Here,” Shiro said, smiling as he led Lotor over to the bed. “Here,” he said, pushing Lotor down to the sheets before climbing on top of him, still smiling. “You’re so beautiful, I’m so glad to be here with you. Tell me- tell me what you want.”

“I don’t know,” Lotor said weakly, suddenly afraid to betray his own inexperience. He wanted- _Shiro_. He wasn’t sure how, he just wanted- more.

“We’ll figure it out,” Shiro said, like maybe he understood. But he still seemed so happy and at ease, not repulsed at all. So maybe- maybe Lotor was keeping it together better than he’d thought. “Tell me if you want to stop, if there’s something you don’t like. Or if there’s something you _do_ like, so I can do it more. Just- talk to me. Tell me.”

And then he was bending down to kiss Lotor so thoroughly, more thoroughly than before, practically plundering his mouth. It was amazing and Lotor couldn’t get enough, only barely managing to stifle a moan as he wrapped his arms around Shiro’s shoulders to pull him in. Shiro moaned loudly against him, like he didn’t care about Lotor hearing at all- like he _wanted_ him to- and pressed closer, running his hands down and under Lotor’s robe.

Suddenly he was even more self-conscious than before, realizing how unclothed he was underneath the human still wearing his vest and pants and boots.

“You’re so hot,” Shiro murmured, shifting to toe his boots off. “So fucking sexy- can’t believe you’d want to do this with me- can’t believe my luck.”

He pulled back to press kisses down Lotor’s chest, his stomach, and then-

Lotor jerked when he felt Shiro take his cock in his mouth. “What are you doing?” he demanded, his voice coming out strangled. It was terrifying to have such a delicate part of his anatomy enveloped in Shiro’s mouth, surrounded by _teeth_. Did people _do_ this? Just- put their mouths- _there_? But it felt unbearably good too and he didn’t know what to think.

“Uh, sucking your dick?” Shiro asked, pulling back to look at him. “Does it- does it not feel good? Is it unpleasant?”

“No, it’s-” Lotor breathed out, only to cut himself off. “Is this a normal thing amongst humans?”

“Yeah,” Shiro said, his smile shifting towards something painfully knowing. “Yeah. I want to- I like doing it. You taste really good. Almost like- I don’t know. Home. Can I keep going? I want to.”

“Alright,” Lotor whispered, fighting not to make any embarrassing sounds as Shiro took him back into his mouth. He closed his eyes and did his best to relax, even though it didn’t do much good. His heart was threatening to jump out of his chest with how hard it was beating, he couldn’t help but to shiver and whimper at the way Shiro’s mouth moved over him- hot and wet, making loud slick sounds that made him want to shift restlessly, thrust deeper in. He curled his hands into the sheets, trying to force himself to still, and then Shiro took him by the hips, keeping him pressed down.

“ _Shiro_ ,” Lotor breathed out, unable to stop himself. He was mindless already, he’d never imagined this, that he could feel so good.

“Oh fuck,” Shiro muttered as he pulled off Lotor’s cock and tightened his hands, lifting Lotor’s hips up off the sheets.

“Shiro- what?” Lotor asked, too blissed out to fight back.

“Open up for me, let me,” Shiro said. “I want to- I want to make you feel good.”

“What? _Ah-_!”

And Shiro was- was- Lotor flushed and jerked half-heartedly. It was- he was- Shiro was licking his asshole enthusiastically, practically moaning against him. It was filthy and wrong, and yet it felt- it felt- It made him feel unbearably open and vulnerable, wanted and cherished, and he didn’t know how to deal with it.

“Shiro-” he managed, not knowing if he was asking him to stop or keep going, harder, to give him more. It was wrong- it was so wrong- but it felt-

Shiro’s tongue was slick and hot against his hole, so impossibly firm and confident, like this wasn’t completely bizarre. Why did Lotor like it so much? His thighs were trembling, his ears were hot.  He dug his fingers into the sheets and bit at his lip, fighting to stay silent and not arch up towards Shiro’s awfully eager mouth.

“Mmm,” Shiro moaned and Lotor didn’t know how to take that, this was so much more than he’d ever bargained for or expected, he didn’t even know people _did_ this and now it was happening to him and his mind was swimming in a haze of shock and pleasure. And then it got so much unbearably worse as Shiro thrust his tongue _inside_ and he cried out, arching his back. Shiro did it again and again, like he _liked_ it, and Lotor’s toes were curling helplessly as he fought to regain even the slightest amount of control over his own body even as Shiro took him mercilessly, forced him into moaning and crying out and twitching against him.

It was undignified and horrible, it was frightening and pathetic, it was- it was _amazing_ , it was the best he’d ever felt in his entire life and all he wanted was more and Shiro gave it to him so easily, readily, offering pleasure and asking for nothing in return.

Lotor fought to speak, to say something, _anything,_ warn Shiro that he was close, that he couldn’t take this anymore- but he couldn’t, his mind was short circuiting and fizzling with pleasure. All he could think about was Shiro’s tongue against him, _inside him_ , all he could think about was Shiro’s hand wrapped around his cock pumping so slowly it was nearly just a tease.

This wasn’t supposed to feel so good, this was some sort of fluke. Maybe Shiro was doing it wrong, maybe Lotor was- but he didn’t have it in him to ask him to stop. He was sweating now, his heart beating so loud it was nearly all he could hear. Maybe if he didn’t say anything Shiro would keep going, he would-

He shuddered as Shiro moaned, licking into him firm and slick as he sped up his hand over Lotor’s cock, focusing extra attention on the sensitive ridged head. It was leaking so much, making such a mess all over the sheets, but Shiro didn’t seem to care at all as he kept going, kept _touching_ him.

“Shiro,” Lotor managed in warning even as he fought to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t- this was like nothing he’d ever experienced before, this was something completely new and he wasn’t nearly prepared to deal with it. “Shiro, I’m-”

But Shiro was _moaning_ against him, his lips shifting like maybe he was smiling, and Lotor almost screamed as he came with Shiro’s tongue inside him, Shiro’s hand moving over him.

He sagged back into the sheets but Shiro didn’t stop. He slowed a little, pulled back. He stopped stroking Lotor’s cock to run his fingers gently, maddeningly, up and down the underside even as he kept licking him, licking inside him.

“Shiro-” Lotor protested weakly, even as his thighs fell open wider, quivering under Shiro’s touch.

“I think you liked that,” Shiro said with a dark laugh and Lotor moaned quietly at his tone, his spent cock jerking helplessly. “Oh yeah,” Shiro said. “Can you keep going? Do you want to?”

Lotor opened his eyes slowly to stare up at Shiro’s flushed and excited face. His chin was slick with spit, his cheeks were bright red. He seemed wild and happy and overwhelmed, besotted as he stared at Lotor laid out beneath him.

“I want you- I want to fuck you,” Shiro said and Lotor froze, trying to catch his breath against the fear. “I’ll make you feel so good,” Shiro continued, and somehow Lotor knew he could believe it. “I’ll make it so good for you, if you just let me. I want to- I want to make you come again for me.”

He swiped his hand through the slick mess over Lotor’s stomach before shifting to push a finger inside him and Lotor couldn’t help moaning and arching up against him, towards him. This couldn’t be right, couldn’t feel so good, but Shiro was pushing inside him, pumping steadily, and it was all Lotor could do to strangle the scream building up inside his throat.

He shifted anxiously but there was no getting away from Shiro, sliding two fingers in now as he stared down unbearably pleased and happy. Why did this feel so good? Lotor was ashamed and shocked, he could never have imagined this. This couldn’t be how it was supposed to go, could it?

“Oh fuck,” Shiro whispered, pushing in a third finger. Lotor cried out as he found himself grinding down on Shiro’s fingers inside him, wordlessly pleading for more.

He kept going until Lotor was hard again, and then he pulled back to finally get undressed.

“Easy,” he murmured as he pushed his cock inside. “How’s that?”

It was good, it didn’t hurt at all, and that couldn’t be _right_. Wasn’t this supposed to hurt? Lotor panted as he turned his head to the side, covering his eyes with his forearm.

“Hey, don’t hide,” Shiro said, pulling his arm away from his face. “I want to see you. If you’re not going to talk to me, I need to see you to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m fine,” Lotor managed. He wasn’t fine- he was on fire.

“Let’s aim for a little better than fine,” Shiro said with a laugh and started to thrust, working into him slowly. For once Lotor stopped thinking and just- gave in. “Oh fuck,” Shiro whispered. “Yeah, better. That’s better- you alright?”

“Yes,” Lotor breathed out.

Shiro bent down to press his face to Lotor’s neck, panting against him as he sped up, and the change in angle touched on something inside that left Lotor weak with pleasure, shaking as he clutched at Shiro’s back desperately.

“ _Shiro-_ ”

“Yeah, Lotor- yeah, talk to me. Is this good? Do you like this?”

“Yes,” Lotor said, surprised at how true it was. “Yes, I- could you-”

“Anything,” Shiro said. “Just say it, tell me.”

Lotor flushed even harder than before, suddenly afraid to ask.

“Tell me,” Shiro urged, his voice breathy and low, warm and fond.

“Harder,” Lotor whispered. “I want- harder.”

“Yeah,” Shiro laughed and on the next thrust he pumped his hips in _hard_ and Lotor couldn’t stop the shocked gasp being ripped out of him or the way he arched up into it, dizzy and lost. “Like that?”

But he couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but dig his fingers into Shiro’s back to try and ground himself. It wasn’t working- his mind was hazy like he was about to float away. It was so overwhelming he could barely form a thought that wasn’t _yes_ singing through him over and over. He was moaning loudly with every thrust and somehow it didn’t matter anymore, all he wanted was this, and more and-

“Faster,” he said and Shiro sped up and there were sparks exploding over the backs of his eyelids. Was this how it was supposed to go? Was it like this every time? It couldn’t be, or else why would anyone ever do anything else?

“Oh fuck,” Shiro groaned. “You feel so good- you’re so- come on, come for me. I want- I want to feel you-”

Lotor bit his lip and screwed his eyes shut with embarrassment and desire. How could Shiro just- _say_ things like that? To _him_? To anyone? Why did it make him feel so good to hear it?

“Yeah, come on-” Shiro said, and Lotor slipped his hand down to touch himself, stroking his cock in time with Shiro moving inside him.

“Come for me,” Shiro said, his voice low and rough, raw almost like a growl and that was- that was-

Lotor cried out as his orgasm hit him like a freight liner, even stronger than the first and he hadn’t thought that was possible. He hadn’t thought a lot of things were possible and Shiro had proven him wrong time and time again.

Shiro fucked him through it, breathing harshly against his neck as he chased his own release, and then he was pulling out with a groan and stroking himself quickly, desperately, before coming over the sheets between Lotor’s thighs.

Shiro collapsed beside him, fighting to catch his breath.

Now that it was over Lotor was engulfed by that familiar wave of doubt and shame and the question he found himself asking far too often lately- _what now?_

What did people _do_ after something like this? Shiro didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave, was Lotor supposed to ask him to go? He didn’t want him to, but surely he wouldn’t want to stay. What would be the point? He’d already gotten what he'd wanted.

“Sorry for the mess,” Shiro said sheepishly. “But I figured- I don’t know. You can’t just come inside someone without asking, right? And I just- couldn’t get my mouth to work just then.” He laughed quietly like he wasn’t really looking for an answer.

He sat up with a groan and Lotor’s heart sank. He’d been right, Shiro was leaving.

“Don’t move,” Shiro said with a smile, “I’ll be back in a second.”

Shiro walked to the bathroom but he was back almost as fast as he said he would be, smiling and fresh faced and carrying a damp towel. Lotor shivered as Shiro wiped up the mess over his stomach, this was somehow even more intimate than before.

“Alright?” Shiro asked as he dropped the towel on the floor and climbed back into bed.

“Yes,” Lotor said, stiffening a little as Shiro wrapped an arm around him and leaned closer- but it was a kiss, just a kiss and he relaxed into it once the surprise faded.

“You’re sure? You’re shaking.”

“I am?” Lotor asked.

“Yeah,” Shiro laughed, pulling him closer. “Cold?”

That wasn’t why he was shaking but it was easier to just nod and Shiro pulled a blanket over them.

“Better?”

“Yes,” Lotor said. “Thank you,” he added uncertainly.

“Is it alright if I stay tonight?” Shiro asked.

Lotor froze at the question. Even after everything he’d let Shiro do, perhaps the most terrifying of all was the thought of sleeping next to him, completely vulnerable. But he didn’t want to be alone just now either, and it was probably unlikely that Shiro would kill him in his sleep.

“Yes,” he managed quietly.

Shiro pressed a kiss to his shoulder and Lotor could feel he was smiling. “Thanks,” he said. “Maybe in the morning, if you’re up to it, you can fuck me.”

“Oh,” Lotor said, shocked that Shiro would consider it, much less want it, much less _ask_. “Maybe,” he said, hoping the word didn’t betray all the emotions raging through him.

“You’re amazing,” Shiro whispered into his ear, making him shiver.

Shiro’s breathing quickly evened out into sleep but Lotor stared at the wall for a long time after, resolved to stay awake, just in case. But he felt so oddly good, warm and cared for, that in the end his eyes closed despite himself and he drifted off, more content than he’d ever felt before.

  


_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [barbitone](http://barbitone.tumblr.com/) and pillowfort also at [barbitone](https://www.pillowfort.io/barbitone)


End file.
